Randomness to the Extreme
by AaralynCullen
Summary: Alice rides on a blueberry, Jasper's in love with fruitcake, Edward is stuck in an alternate dimension and has gopher groupies. Rated T 'cause I'm not sure what'll be in it.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I'm sad to say I don't own Twilight… But I do own the High School Musical Soundtrack

_Disclaimer: I'm sad to say I don't own Twilight… But I do own the High School Musical Soundtrack! (Not a great feat, I know. Oh well.) _

Random to the Extreme

Chapter 1: Dealing With Emotions – Jasper & Alice 

Jasper: Oh, woe is me, woe is me!

Alice: What 'tis wrong, Juliet?

Jasper/Juliet: Woe, I cannot confess my love to… fruitcake!

Alice: Oh, woe is you, woe is you! Husband dearest, I will find you a fruitcake worth loving! (Runs off)

Jasper: Oh, misery!

Alice: (runs back) I have found thee thy greatest fruitcake thy will ever know!

Jasper: Oh, wife dearest, thou are my anti-drug!

Alice: Oh!

Jasper: Oh!

Alice: Oh!

Jasper: _I want fabulous, it is my simple request, all things fabulous, bigger and better and best!_

Alice: _I need something inspiring to help me get along; I need a little fabulous, is that so wrong?_

Jasper: _A summer like never before!_

Alice: _I want more! _

Jasper: More of what, wife dearest?

Alice: I do not know, husband dearest!

Jasper: Oh, woe is she, woe is she!

--Silence--

Jasper: _Living in my own world… Didn't understand, that anything can happen… when you take a chance! _

Alice: _I never believed in…what I couldn't see. I never opened my heart… to all the possibilities._

Both: _I know…._

Alice: _That something has changed._

Both: _Never felt this way…_

Alice: _And right here tonight, _

Both: _This could be the…._

Jasper: Fruitcake!

Alice: WHEEE! (Rides around on a blueberry)

Jasper: (coughs) We interrupt this broadcast for an important—

Alice: (throws blueberry on Jasper)

Jasper: Ayah! No Elle est la pomes!

Alice: COMPRENDE!!

Jasper: Ayah!

Both run in circles

Me: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW.

Audience: Since when do Twilight characters speak Shakespearian, Spanish, and French??

Me: Um, he did it! (points to a random guy and runs, laptop in hands)

Audience: GET HIM! (attacks guy)

Guy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!

Me: Tee-hee! (taping this from hole-in-the-wall©)


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: WHAAAAAAT

Chapter 2: WHAAAAAAT? – Edward & Me; guest appearance by Jasper & Alice

Me: (stares at Edward)

Edward: Uh…

Me: (continues)

Edward: Do you, um, have somewhere to be? I could point you in the right direction…

Me: (eye twitches) You're even more awesome in real life!!

Edward: Real…life? Like living and never dying? …Were you in 1918 when I was there?

Me: (writing all this in Magic Laptop©) Um, no. I'm the author of this story, and I am making you say all this… Time to have some fun!

Edward suddenly disappears

--Edward's Perspective--

Edward: Why is it so dark? Ah! What was that? BELLA!!

Lights turn on and Edward sees every part of the room is covered with pictures of the Author!

Edward: AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!

--My Perspective--

Me: HAHAHA! Oh wait, I'm supposed to love Edward. And I do…. Now he's surrounded with ME! (evil laugh that is so evil it can't be put on here without making babies around the world cry) Uh, now what?

Alice: (runs in) Cauliflower!!

Jasper: (follows making whooshing noises) Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh.

Alice: (turns on techno music) WHOOO! (dances)

Jasper: (dances)

Me: (stares. Eye starts twitching)

Alice: Thy need to fix that.

Jasper: Hear ye, hear ye!

Me: (recovers) What are you doing?! I'm not writing this!!

Figure in the Shadows: (evil laugh much more evil than Author's evil laugh. Makes people around the world cry in agony)

Me: AAAAAYYYYYYAAAAAAAHHHHHH!! (attacks)

Alice: Why do you keep saying 'ayah' and not 'aaaahhh?'

Me: My new computer doesn't recognize it… So I just type either ayah or AAAAHHH in all caps. (continues fighting)

Jasper & Alice: Oh.

Edward in distance: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!

Me: TIME OUT!

Figure in the Shadows: Okay. (takes a break)

Me: I should probably get Edward back.

Edward pops up

Me: Edward! We were just talking about you.

Edward: (breathes heavily)

Alice: (teasing) Have you been with Bella again?

Jasper: (senses emotions. Makes Edward feel like dancing to techno!)

Edward: (starts dancing)

All: (start dancing)

Gophers: (in awe of dancing prowess)

Alice: Edward, look! You have groupies!

Edward: (being bitten by gophers) AAAAAHHH!!

All: (continue dancing)

WER! Alicees around the world cry)


End file.
